Nick Carter is sharing an update on his grief journey after the loss of his younger brother, Aaron Carter.
The “Aaron’s Party” singer passed away last November at age 34, leaving behind friends and family including his now-22-month-old son Prince. For Nick, losing Aaron has been especially devasting given how “no matter what he and I had gone through in our lives, we always were able to make amends, always were able to get back to that place—and now I can’t anymore and it hurts.”
“It’s still unbelievable to me,” Nick said of Aaron’s death—due to accidental drowning—in an exclusive interview with E! News’ Francesca Amiker. “I’m still processing the whole situation and trying to make sense of it—because it hasn’t.”
The Backstreet Boys star continued tearfully, “But I’m hoping that one day I can make sense of it all.”
In his grief, Nick has been leaning on wife Lauren Kitt Carter and their three kids: Odin, 7, Saoirse, 4, and Pearl, 2.
This story originally appeared on E online